Life and Changing

It’s funny, just a week ago I was distraught over my husband’s vasectomy. I was in tears and I didn’t know when, if ever, I would get over feeling the way I did. We had put the deed off for over 8 years. He was going to get it done when our almost 9 year old was born. Things consistently got in the way – money, finances, losing jobs. Reasons kept coming up and we kept putting it off. Thank God we did, because this little cutie joined our lives in January of 2013:

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Some things are just meant to be. 🙂

A week ago, I wrote this. It was hard for me to admit that I was upset. I kind of felt like I was supposed to suck it up and move on, but I was mourning. Not only was I mourning, but it brought up all the grief from when my brother died, so I felt like I had been hit with a double whammy. 

That post brought some healing for me. Friends messaged me and shared their stories. They showed me that I was not alone in how I was feeling. One friend said that she got her tubes tied and when it was done, she laid on the table and CRIED because that stage of her life was over. When I knew it was her choice and she still mourned, I felt a lot better about the sadness hovering in my heart. 

That stage of my life was over. I have always had a bit of difficulty with change and moving on. I don’t even want more babies. I’ve gladly accepted my surprises, but I am okay with not having more. I am at a point in my life where I am realizing how fleeting life is. My parents are aging, my brother has died. I’m not looking forward to some stages of life and saying goodbye to this stage brought all that up.

In the past week I have cried, mourned, and been a little more pissy than I should be, but I can tell you, now I’m okay. I’m looking forward to this next stage of life and this next stage of my husband’s and my marriage. A friend messaged me and said “This next stage will be okay. The exciting part is it will be about just you and your hubby. You won’t be trying to get pregnant or trying to prevent pregnancy”. 

And, honestly, friends, that’s something I can get REALLY excited about. <wink, wink> 

And for anyone who goes through this and mourns, it’s okay. It’s normal! For some reason this isn’t the stuff people talk about. I NEVER knew that people mourn this stage of life. I’ve always heard the “Whoo hoo, it’s done!” and never the “boo hoo, it’s done”. 

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