Yesterday I was a lot frustrated about a decision my husband made without input from me. The details of the decision doesn’t really matter much. Well, it did to me.
I have this problem, though. When I am frustrated, I shut down. I find it hard to concentrate or attend to my family like we all need. (Anyone else this way?) Honestly, I felt as if my insides were exploding, because I just couldn’t believe that he didn’t consider my feelings.
I posted on my FB page, confessing that despite our great marriage, my husband and I really suck at communication. We talk about the small things, but anything over the size of a bread box gets swept under the rug. Even when we say we will talk about something later, we don’t. My question to my 12 or so friends who listen, was “What area could use improvement in your marriage?”
Sometimes, our online lives and marriages and children look a lot healthier, happier and put together than they are. (Or we have the other extreme, where our lives and marriages and children really suck, but those make me feel sorry for THEM, not me!) I like to talk about the hard stuff. If I don’t who will?
The most common answer was “Communication”. This led me to ask why communication is such an issue in so many marriages. How come we can get naked with this person we married, but we can’t talk to them? No one really answered that question.
Listen, I want to be one of those bloggers that I admire who seem to have an answer or they’ve been through it already and have moved on to talking about it, so they have the voice of experience. Or they can relate their experience biblicaly. I don’t. I don’t have the answers and I haven’t gone through it and I don’t have an experienced voice. Unless you want to know how NOT to do something, and we rarely ever google how to not do something. If you did, I’m sure you’d land on my blog. 🙂
So, the hubs and I, after a day of frustration, talked a bit. We didn’t really come to an agreement, but I did feel a lot better because he heard me and he listened. I’m positive he thinks I am a lunatic for the way I think, but that’s his problem. He knew it when he married me.
So, why is it hard to talk about the hard stuff? I hope you came here because you have the answers, not because you need them. Could I interest you in a few problems?