He loves me

If I’ve been too quiet, it’s because it’s been quite the year. ūüôā My brain is firing with different things to blog and I don’t even know where to start. Most GOOD bloggers don’t start out with apologies for not blogging, but I determined a long time ago that I am not a GOOD blogger, so I am completely okay with this.

My husband and I have been married for 15 years. We dated for 3 years before that. I think at this point in time, I can say he loves me, he really, really loves me.

Unfortunately, my mind likes to play tricks on me and convince me that my heart doesn’t know what it’s talking about. ūüôā Silly mind.

One question that I often ask my husband is “Why do you love me?”. Is it because I keep up on the laundry, make a nice dinner, have birthed him 4 kids, take care of my step-daughter, write him love notes, etc? He’s always hemmed and hawed over the question and could never give a good enough response.

So upside down, blow drying my hair this morning, I was thinking about WHY I love my husband. I couldn’t really come up with a reason. If I said I love him because he takes out the garbage, does that mean I don’t ¬†love him when he doesn’t? I definitely like that he takes out the garbage, but is that a reason to LOVE him?

I have noticed that he doesn’t love me any more or any less when I clean the house. He doesn’t come home and say “The laundry is done, my dear, I sure adore you because of it!”. He loves me, just because he does. He loves me because of who he is, not because of anything I have done. Likewise, I love him. I just do. If he takes out the garbage, I love him. If he doesn’t take out the garbage, I still love him. If he quits chewing tobacco, I love him, but if he never quits, my love for him will not change.

I’ve been killing myself trying to keep up and measure up, just so my husband will love me more, but there is nothing I can do to make him love me more and there is nothing I can do to make him love me less. He just loves, because that is who he is.

Shouldn’t we all strive to love? Not for what a person has done or hasn’t done for us, but because that is who we are?

1 Corinthians 

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

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