I Laughed

I heard the screams before two of my kids came rushing in from outside.

“Piper’s trying to kill us!!!!!!!!”

To say that I am used to this would be an understatement. To say that I get tired of it would be another. I think I spent a solid month going outside daily to wrangle Piper into the house. She always seemed fine when she went out to play. Things rarely appeared as they seemed and always changed quickly!

If my kids weren’t rushing in the door, the neighbor kids were knocking at it. Sometimes, if it was a really good one, I would even get the parents of the neighbor kids at my door. I kind of got used to opening it and saying “Where is she? What did she do? SIIIIIIIIIIGH. No, no it’s not you, really. Do you babysit?”

So, On this particular day, I went outside. She was swinging the broom around rapidly and muttering about everyone. As I tried to stop the broom from whacking me in the head, I noticed the neighbor’s windows. Of course they were open.

And I laughed.

Yes. In the middle of my child trying to “kill” someone (which  may have been me), I laughed. Mostly because I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe that this was my life, my normal, and it was right there for everyone to see. I couldn’t hide it behind the door, because she wasn’t allowing me that grace. I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t happening, because I’m sure everyone was watching.

Unfortunately for me, my laughing made her madder. As she screamed at me “It’s not funny!”, I wrestled the broom from her. She started to storm off and I grabbed her and wrapped her in a hug. No, no, no, not to love on her, actually I was hugging her to stop her from hurting anyone else or herself.

Then I cried. For all the reasons that I had laughed. I couldn’t believe that this was my life and my normal and that I had laughed. I was so full of love, anger, shame and embarrassment that my emotions couldn’t keep up with me.

I lived, but I’m sure the neighbors thought me crazy.

Disclaimer: Piper has problems. Like most of us do. She is a wonderful older sister. She is smart, compassionate and giving. She often feels overwhelmed by her surroundings and her emotions. She is not a bad kid. She is under the care of a doctor, who thinks she is just fine… even if she doesn’t fit the mold of other kids. I prayed for patience. I got Piper, and through Piper, I got patience. I am glad that God didn’t give me just the patience I asked for, because I would have missed out on Piper. 🙂 

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