Forgetting Why I’m Here

^^^^^ See the title up there? I’m not talking about forgetting why I walk into a room. I do that too, but that’s not what this is about. I’m talking about purpose. More specifically my purpose in life. It’s what a lot of people are on a quest to find. Their purpose in life. God revealed His to me in 2010. 

I forget. I forget a lot. In the middle of hanging laundry on a line, because our dryer has been broken since June. When I am loading or unloading my 3rd load of dishes from the dishwasher. Or simply telling Jack to quit running outside in his socks.

I forget. I despair. I think “this can’t be all I’m here for.” I forget that THIS, the laundry, the dishes, the socks, the meal preparing, the driving, the bill paying, is what I am here for. THIS is what He told me to do. 

I was sitting in the first or second row at church. I was broken, because I had been on a mission trip the previous year. It changed my life. It broke my heart. It tipped my life upside down. I was sad because my team was going again, but I wasn’t on the team. I begged and pleaded, but when I prayed, the answer was always “no”. Just no. I didn’t understand it. I mean, serving people in a far away place is good and evidence of God’s work in my life and why would God say no to that? 

I was searching for purpose and I wanted my purpose to be serving people far away. That was in my plans. It was not in God’s, because as I sat there in the front row, He spoke to me. I was taking notes as I always did. He was speaking to me about things that had nothing to do with the sermon, as usual. I wish I could find the paper I wrote it on, but I guess it doesn’t matter, because I remember what He said. 

“Serve your family”. I wrote it down, but I was a little put out. It’s not what I wanted to do. There is no glamour in THAT, I was thinking. There just isn’t. Glamour is going away and loving on people you don’t know. There is no glamour in loving on the people that surround you every day. Or so I thought. 

I certainly rejected His words, but eventually I became obedient to them. I served my family. Three years later, I’m still serving my family. I am cooking, cleaning, working, changing diapers, refereeing (a  lot), setting up water fights, loving my husband (being his positive support!) and much, much more. It’s not glamorous. I forget a lot that this is where He has me right now, but when I am moaning and groaning, because I’m hanging out laundry and stepping in holes that the kids or dogs have dug and I remember those words, they change my heart. It’s not always about desire. Sometimes it’s about obedience. I don’t always do this stuff because I love it. I always do it because it’s where He has me. 

Sometimes I just need to be reminded. (at least my mind hasn’t gone yet)

Because a lot of times I forget. 

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2 thoughts on “Forgetting Why I’m Here

  1. I am amazed at your ability to really listen to God. It is so easy to get caught up in the day to day blah, blah, blah….complaining that this or that didn’t go according to our plan. So often our plans are the opposite of what God has planned for us and we are so busy complaining we don’t realize that we are EXACTLY where he wants us to be. We could all learn from your example to stop, listen and appreciate the moment and the opportunity of God’s plan for us. Love you my friend! Thanks for always being an inspiration!!

  2. Pingback: I doubt | This Treasured Life

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