I happened across a blog post this morning about marriage and putting your husband first. The argument is almost as old as the stay at home vs working mom, homeschool vs public schools arguments. I’m not really going to address my opinion on the matter. My attention was drawn to one particular point that the author made. She said something along the lines of “if your children are sleeping with you, you are going to ruin your marriage”. (not her words exactly, just how I remember them)
I started feeling bad. There are some nights I have the time, energy and patience to put Charlee in her own bed. Most nights, however, I am tired and well spent. My day has consisted of laundry, errands, dishes, making dinner, homeschooling and more. So as I am reading this, I am looking over at my husband and thinking “God, he’s gonna leave me”.
Then I shook some sense into myself. I told myself that what works for one person or family is not necessarily what works for us. My husband has reassured me several times that he doesn’t feel neglected or unloved. He also throws in a “You are doing a great job, hon” for extra husband points.
We have been married for almost 15 years. We have been through years where we had babies sleeping with us and little time together. We have survived. Our marriage has still thrived. We have moved on to other phases of life and now we are in a phase of life that we have been through before. We will survive and we will thrive again. He has told me “babe, we know this time is temporary, stop putting unrealistic expectations on yourself. Let’s do what works for us”.
He’s such a smart man, I think I am going to take his advice. I can be secure in the knowledge that we are okay. 🙂 And I will continue to remind myself that what works for others, won’t work for us and what works for us won’t work for others and really, it’s all okay.