Entertaining

An entertainer I am not. 

Not only that, I don’t really care  to BE entertained. 

I am not sure if I was raised this way, or if I have always been this way and it’s gotten worse. 

This is typical of me. A friend will want to get together. I think it sounds like a great idea. I look forward to the day. I’m excited! Until that morning. Then I sort of freak. I hope for the stomach flu. For me, of course, I would never wish that on someone else because of my idiosyncrasies. 😉 I will look for any excuse to not follow through on my plans. It doesn’t matter if the plans are here or there. I just want to get out of them. 

Now, it’s not that I don’t ENJOY getting together with my friends, because surely I do. I love to see them and when they are here or I am there, I love it! Prior to the meet-up though, I am a basket case. I worry that we will run out of things to talk about. I worry about the AWKWARD silence. And I worry about it so much, that 99 times out of 100, I will find a reason to cancel. 

I actually think it might run in the family. My brother, I think was very similar, except he was rude enough to act on his feelings. 😉 I knew that his brother in law knew him well when he told me that my brother used to walk into his house, walk to the fridge and then sit down in front of the tv. Hours later, the brother in law would ask where he went and his wife would say “oh, he went home”. Apparently get togethers were awkward for my brother too. 

My maternal grandfather used to wind up his clock when he felt it was time for guests to go home. My uncle will just flat out say “It’s time for you to be going now”. I do use that one with people I am comfortable with. Which is only that uncle’s daughter and family. 😉 

I know, that maybe, I should work on this and work through this. I just don’t know that I can.I want people to want to spend time with me and I certainly want to spend time with them. The worry and the stress before hand nearly takes all of the joy out of the impending visit though. 

So, if you are a friend of mine, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Really I am. 

How about you? Do you have an easy or hard time with get togethers? Are you like me and wonder when people will leave, or can you spend hours with friends, never knowing how much time has passed? 

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3 thoughts on “Entertaining

  1. OMG. I don’t even know what to say to this. I had no idea. My dates with friends are stacked on the calendar like pancakes on a Sunday morning. Every friend is a huge blessing as there was a time when friends were scarce. I guess I should consider myself lucky that you have invited me over. 🙂 I like you just the way you are and you don’t have to be a social butterfly. If I really need to see you I’ll stalk you in the parking lot.

  2. Pingback: I lied…. well, sort of | This Treasured Life

  3. the longer I get to know myself, the more I realize how introverted I am and it does indeed make things like this challenging. Or maybe I am getting more introverted as I age. Or maybe I’m just tired. I do know that if I see it through and DO hang out with people, I usually enjoy it (though there is a limit, as you talk about in your other post, and also I have a “recovery period” afterwards). I think it’s all part of knowing ourselves and learning to do our best with what we’ve got. I desire to hang out with people and have friends, but I do it a little differently than others might or have a few extra challenges with it that another person wouldn’t deal with, because of my temperament, etc.

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