Archive | January 2013

A Year of Change

A year ago

Do you think things can change in a year? I am going to go with a “YES!”

When I am faced with an obstacle that seems insurmountable, I am tempted to think “Ugh! This will never change. I will always be stuck here, things will never get better, we are doooooooomed”. We rarely ever are.

If 2012 was any indication, things change. Sometimes they change for the better, sometimes they change for the worse, and sometimes they just change… no better, no worse.

January 2012: My husband was making pretty good money at his job. He wasn’t thrilled with it, there were problems for sure, but we were finally ahead. We were even planning some family vacations!

April 2012: He was laid off of his job. With unemployment, we were only bringing home 50% of what he was making. UGH. We still went on a previously planned beach trip.

May 2012: Just a short time after being laid off, he found another job. It was in a different field, and he was making 1/3 less than previously, but we were hopeful! Then we found out that we were expecting a baby. Um, wow! How does that happen? Never mind, I think I already know!

June 2012: School was out, the kids were already driving me batty. One day, Piper, full of pranks, yelled “DADDY’S HOME!” in the middle of the day. I rolled my eyes and said “right”. He was. The job he had found had completed their orders and no longer needed him. While I didn’t cry the first time, I went into the bathroom and cried this time. It seemed…. hopeless.

Summer 2012: Somehow we managed to go to the beach twice, once as a family, once for our anniversary. We spent a week camping. We went hiking a lot. In between looking for jobs, we just did the family thing. All those things we had hoped to get accomplished while he was unemployed (household repairs, etc) didn’t happen, but the summer was MEMORABLE!

September 2012: We made the decision to pull our kids from traditional school. We started them in a home school program that is overseen by a public school teacher. Chad started a new job, making as much money as he was originally making, just two days after the kids started school. Fortunately he was able to go to my ultrasound before he started his job.  Less than a week later, my brother passed away.

October 2012: After a whirlwind 2 weeks that felt like months, my mom, dad, 3 younger kids and I traveled to San Diego, CA for my brother’s military service. When I said I wanted to go places, this isn’t exactly what I meant!

November – December 2012: Things finally settled down, we got into a routine for homeschooling, I was very pregnant. (as of January 2013, I still am!), We celebrated Christmas, New Year’s, Thanksgiving and birthdays.

January 2013: So here we are, one year later and EVERYTHING seems like it has changed. What was normal in January 2012 is not normal in January 2013.

So don’t ever look at your situation and think it won’t change or that change is hopeless, because in the span of a year, your life can look very different. I never thought that this is what my life would look like in 2013, but it is. Although many things changed last year, I don’t feel like it was a horrible year. Yes, some bad things happened, but great things happened too, and I have come to realize that it is unrealistic to have some good without some bad. It happens that way.

I don’t know what 2013 will bring… I would like to request no deaths or pregnancies though… but I am looking forward to seeing how things have changed in January 2014.

How did your life change from 2012 to 2013? 

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Overwhelmed

I am overwhelmed. I’ve been this way for almost a year now. It’s not one thing, it’s a succession of many things, large and small, big deals and not such big deals. 

I’m overwhelmed at the prospect of having a new member of our family.(due any day now!)

I’m overwhelmed by a legal thing we have going on. I don’t know why that would happen. For three years, I’ve tried to take care of it, then they finally decide that it needs to be settled between January 14th and February 3rd. Yes, I told them that it was not going to happen.

I’m overwhelmed by the death of my brother, homeschooling, house cleaning, food preparing, child rearing, wife duties, home duties, laundry, dishes, doctor appointments and, and, and, and much more.

 So, in the past few months, I have pretty much gone off the grid. I haven’t blogged. I haven’t been to church consistently. I haven’t called friends much. Sometimes I don’t even bother to shower, because it’s just one more thing I am overwhelmed by. I mean, taking a shower is easy, but then my hair looks like crap and for once, I want to look good in my hospital pictures, and if I get it wet and don’t fix it, that’s not gonna happen. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am NOT depressed. I have been depressed before and this is different. I am just… overwhelmed. 

The other day, Chad and I had a whole day to ourselves. We don’t get those very often anymore, especially since one of our children, who I refuse to mention, but you can all guess, is not the easiest child to leave with other people. She and her sister were invited to a birthday party though, so I knew she would be okay for 3 or 4 hours. So Chad and I went to lunch, where I didn’t have to share any of it, with children or naughty dogs. 😉 As we were waiting for our meal, he said “Sometimes I just get so overwhelmed by all the changes in our life”. “Yeah, me too”, I said.Then as I thought about it, I said “You know, maybe we are SUPPOSED to be overwhelmed by everything that has been going on. Maybe we aren’t supposed to have it figured out”. He  looked at me like I had suddenly sprouted another head. “When we are overwhelmed, what other choice do we have but to rely on God?”

I’m not exactly sure how HE felt about that train of thought, but since then I noticed that the feeling of being overwhelmed has left me. When it starts to creep up on me again, I pause and remember “I’m not supposed to have this figured out, I am just supposed to continue relying on God”. 

Are you overwhelmed? Who are you relying on? Yourself or your faith in God? 

Blessings, friends. Hopefully I will be back before baby D is born, but I make no promises. 🙂 Love you all! 

2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 3,400 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 6 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.