My Marriage… On line

I have been married for 14 years. In those 14 years, we have been through a lot. Isn’t that what EVERYBODY says? “We’ve been through a lot”. Well it’s true. 😉 If you looked on my facebook page, you would probably figure that it’s been 14 years of perfection. We came into marriage knowing what it’s all about, we have it figured it out, we never (EVER) argue, fight or have any issues.

Not.

We do. We have a lot of issues. I get irritated with him. Sometimes it’s justified. Many times I am just being me. There are days I want to shoot off to my blog or Facebook and let. him. have. it. Not so much because I think it will work. More because in those moments I want to be heard and understood and  what better place for this than on-line? I surround myself with people that usually like me, so I wouldn’t have a shortage of people to back me up or agree with me!

Somehow, no matter how strong the urge, I resist. Why? Why do I do this, even in my moments of insanity justified reactions?

I don’t do it, because I respect my husband, our marriage and our privacy. I recognize that there are some things that should just be between us. Many things, once they are put on-line, can  not be taken back. I think I am responsible for the image that my family and friends have of my husband. If I go online and bash him, what does that do to the image people have of him? How silly will I look when we kiss and make up and  I start gushing out lovey dovey pukey wookey things about him?

This is not to say that I don’t talk about issues with ANYONE. I always have my lovey dovey pukey wookey husband. I have a journal. I have one a few good friends, who I can tell  anything to, without the worry that it will change her their perspective of my husband. I don’t generally tell my mom, acquaintances, his friends, our mutual friends.

If there is one thing I have learned, it’s that my husband is a pretty darn good guy. He takes out the garbage, he cleans out the cat box, he loves me when I least deserve it. If there is a time he is acting HUMAN, it’s because he’s HUMAN or because my perspective of the situation is totally skewed. It’s not because he is a bad guy that needs to be kicked while he is down.

There is so much negativity on-line and in marriages, I really want to do my part to not contribute to that negativity.

How about you?

 

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8 thoughts on “My Marriage… On line

    • Thanks,Kim! It’s something that’s been on my mind a lot lately! People expect the negative, so they think when you post positive, you are lying. I’m just learning to control my fingers. LOL.

  1. Well now that just makes me want to go give my husband a big hug and say thanks for being such a great guy! I always love your “real-ness”. I’ve often wanted to make a collage picture showing “what my life looks like on facebook” and “what my life really looks like”!

    • Go give your husband a great big hug! 🙂 I know that he will love and appreciate it.

      I noticed that when I quit talking negative about my husband, I also quit thinking negative about him. WOW! 🙂 Light bulb moment.

  2. This I one lesson I wish I had learned a long time ago.
    It is so easy to bash your spouse to the world when you need your side of an argument validated.
    And I have done that. So much really that I am struggling being honest with my family and friends about the truth about our current relationship. Although I have forgiven him my family and friends still hate him and that hate is causing a major upset in my family. My family has not forgiven him. He has not directly caused them harm. But he caused me hurt and I told anyone who would listen 😦
    Now unless I am asked and what I have to say is positive I don’t say anything.
    Thanks for listening Amy! Great post!

  3. I think it’s awesome that you take the time to think about what is going on in your marriage. You strive to improve. You are engaged in the process. So many people check out when things get hard and lose interest in their marriage to focus on themselves. You are a great example of a Godly wife!

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