Archive | November 2012

My Marriage… On line

I have been married for 14 years. In those 14 years, we have been through a lot. Isn’t that what EVERYBODY says? “We’ve been through a lot”. Well it’s true. 😉 If you looked on my facebook page, you would probably figure that it’s been 14 years of perfection. We came into marriage knowing what it’s all about, we have it figured it out, we never (EVER) argue, fight or have any issues.

Not.

We do. We have a lot of issues. I get irritated with him. Sometimes it’s justified. Many times I am just being me. There are days I want to shoot off to my blog or Facebook and let. him. have. it. Not so much because I think it will work. More because in those moments I want to be heard and understood and  what better place for this than on-line? I surround myself with people that usually like me, so I wouldn’t have a shortage of people to back me up or agree with me!

Somehow, no matter how strong the urge, I resist. Why? Why do I do this, even in my moments of insanity justified reactions?

I don’t do it, because I respect my husband, our marriage and our privacy. I recognize that there are some things that should just be between us. Many things, once they are put on-line, can  not be taken back. I think I am responsible for the image that my family and friends have of my husband. If I go online and bash him, what does that do to the image people have of him? How silly will I look when we kiss and make up and  I start gushing out lovey dovey pukey wookey things about him?

This is not to say that I don’t talk about issues with ANYONE. I always have my lovey dovey pukey wookey husband. I have a journal. I have one a few good friends, who I can tell  anything to, without the worry that it will change her their perspective of my husband. I don’t generally tell my mom, acquaintances, his friends, our mutual friends.

If there is one thing I have learned, it’s that my husband is a pretty darn good guy. He takes out the garbage, he cleans out the cat box, he loves me when I least deserve it. If there is a time he is acting HUMAN, it’s because he’s HUMAN or because my perspective of the situation is totally skewed. It’s not because he is a bad guy that needs to be kicked while he is down.

There is so much negativity on-line and in marriages, I really want to do my part to not contribute to that negativity.

How about you?