I don’t have the time or energy to beat around the bush, so I will start with the confession:
I haven’t been to a church service in quite a while.
I’ve been to CHURCH. I’ve read my bible. I’ve prayed to God. I’ve heard sermons on line. I give thanks every day and I try to live more and more like Jesus with every breath that I take. I just haven’t actually stepped foot into the sanctuary and heard the sermon from my pastor, at my church.
It started when my kids were sick and we obviously couldn’t go. Then my brother passed away and I couldn’t make myself go. The day I specifically remember, I was on the verge of a breakdown and wanted to break down here, with my family, not there with my extended family. Then we were out of town. Then when I came back, I just wanted to relax, in the comfort of my home, with my husband.
Now, here we are today, and I don’t really have a perfectly good reason NOT to go (well, unless you count being up too late, praying for a friend that is in Hawaii and was evacuated due to the tsunami warning… and then the heartburn that made me so sick), but honestly I am not sure we are going to. I don’t even know why. I am not disenchanted with the church, nothing happened to make me not want to go. I love my church and I love my church family. I love that the pastor preaches from the bible, but is able to open my eyes and makes everything make sense. I also love being surrounded by people who live, love and believe the way I do.
So, if I take another day off, is it bad? Hmmm, I know some of you who will say yes, and some of you who will say no. I also know some people who will say “If you have to ask the question, you already know the answer”. And, yah, I actually wholeheartedly agree. 🙂
Some people take time off of church for sports games, work and vacation. Is it really any different if I want to take time off of church for nothing?
Now that it’s out there, I hope you will pray for me about it, rather than tell me how horribly wrong I am. And now that it’s out there, chances are I’m going to end up showing up at church. It always seems to happen. Once I blog a “confession”, such as my I hate pregnancy post, I feel better about it. I have actually felt better about my pregnancy since I hit publish.
So, perhaps, I will hit publish here, and you will see me back in church. 🙂