Life hasn’t gone according to (my) plans this year.
Chad lost his job. Twice. In 6 weeks.
I’m pregnant. 16 weeks.
Our dishwasher started leaking all over.
My computer up and died.
Our house is too small. (according to some people)
There’s too much month at the end of our money.
And on and on and on. Nobody chooses this kind of life, right?
I’ve been angry, ashamed, embarrassed, guilty, sad, jealous, envious and on and on and on.
I could be choosing joy, but I’m not. I’m choosing to respond to life with every negative emotion you can imagine. I may not choose what happens in life, but I sure as heck have been choosing how I respond.
This realization hit me square in the heart today. It was an email that a friend forwarded to me. A blog post from Ann Voskamp at A Holy Experience. I only made it halfway through her post when I noticed her name. Sara. And I remembered her. I only discovered her blog shortly before she passed away, but I saw the indelible impression she left on many people. I read through many of her blog posts. I was mesmerized with her story. With her. Because in the midst of pain, in the moments of death… She chose joy. Always. It’s what people remember her for. Her joy. Her ability to love, to serve and to give, in the midst of an illness that she did. not. choose. She couldn’t choose her circumstances, but she chose how she would respond. Over and over, SHE CHOSE JOY.
I can too. Even when life is not going my way. Especially when life is not going my way.
Chad and I sat and watched a video about Sara, made for InCourage’s Irl conference. Afterwards, I said “wow. I feel like a whiner”. He said “you too, huh?”. Even after death, she is touching the hearts of people. I want to be like Sara.
Grab your tissues, and friends, choose joy. I’m going to.